Must Be Doing Something Right

I just had to rush right over and blog this - we're having such an amazing day, and it is such a turnaround from how things have been in the past.  You know, so often as a mother it seems that I spend most of my time with negative statements "No", "Don't", "Stop", "Put that down", etc.  And for quite some time I had assumed that this was what everyone does, or that it was because my sons are just so over-the-top.  I read books about parenting, about boys, about discipline, and I would try and keep our discipline and family structure in such a way that there were clear expectations and consequences for the behaviors we did not allow.  Nothing was really working though.  The kids were becoming more hostile and frustrated, and so was I.  I won't lie - it was looking pretty grim.  I kept thinking to myself "What on earth? How did I get this much anger and aggression in my family?  What's going on?" 

I started praying more consistently for my children, for their attitudes, and for my patience.  And then I realized that I hadn't been praying for myself.  Aren't I the only one who can change my attitude?  I asked the Lord to give me a heart for my sons, to make my words and heart tender toward them, to give me discernment regarding discipline, and to help me with my priorities - more specifically to make THEM a priority.  It was a slow change, because I found it hard to genuinely want to change myself, and not just give lip service to it.  But once I honestly started praying those things and meaning it, the changes were almost instant.  Today, we were doing out shopping, and because I'm a new couponer it takes me some time to get through the store.  Usually this is a recipe for disaster - the boys quickly lose patience, as do I.  Not this time!  I heard these adorable voices coming from the car at the front of my shopping cart "You are my brother, and we'll be friends forever, right?" "Right. I love you brother." "I love you too."  Then later this afternoon, DS1 says "Mom, the next time we go to the store, I want to buy you a treat, because you do lots of nice things for us, and we love you." 

These are things that melt a mother's heart.  These are the reasons we can patiently handle tantrums, changing diapers, being up all night, the back-and-forth drives to school and lessons, and answering "why?" for the millionth time.  Because our kids love us, unconditionally, all the time.  Because even when we don't think they're listening, they are, and we're shaping the people they will grow up to be.  I am so proud to be my sons' mother - maybe at times I might wish that the behavior was a little better, but I know that they are generous, tender-hearted, silly little boys and I am so excited to see who they will grow up to be!

Simplicity

Before I had my kids, I always promised myself (and swore, to anyone who would listen) that I would never be "that mom".  You know the mom I'm talking about.  We've all seen her.  She is constantly shuffling the kids to school, soccer practice, karate lessons, piano lessons, swim team... the list can go on and on.  Juice boxes and trail mix can be found in her purse, along with any forgotten permission slips, and some toys or crayons for 'just in case'.  I would always shake my head in wonder, and think to myself "just simplify, lady.  You DON'T have to be involved in EVERYTHING!"

And then, it happened.  Reality.  You know how it has a habit of crashing in suddenly?  It was like I suddenly woke up - and bam!  I was at karate practice watching DS1 go through his program, snapping pictures of him with one hand and doling out snacks, a juice box, and miniature super heroes to DS2.  I was that Mom.  I quickly flipped through my iPod's planner app and yes, there was evidence to support this theory.  Right there on the tiny, fingerprint covered screen, it said "Swim Lessons - Tues. & Thurs.; Karate - Mon., Tues., Wed., & Fri., Playgroup - Wed.; Swim date - Mon.; Playdate - Fri.; REPEATS WEEKLY"

Wow.  I mean, I know that as a stay-at-home mom I spend my entire day with my kids.  We're always together.  But how much time am I actually spending engaged with them?  Usually I feel like I'm just trying to keep them from getting into trouble, or to clean up whatever it is that they have just destroyed.  Today, I decided to put forward a real effort to engage with my boys - to really listen to what it is they have to say, and I asked God to give me a tender heart for my children.  God answers prayers, in a big way - we had an amazing day!  Despite an early doctor's appointment, we really enjoyed swimming and having lunch with our friends, and then spending the entire evening playing board games together. 

I wanted to encourage you to make an effort tomorrow, if this is an area where you struggle at times, to turn off the TV, shut down the computer, silence your cell phone and say "yes" to your kids!  I know life is hectic and there are things that need to be done, but our children are only this small for such a short time, we need to make sure that we make the most of it!!

Clear Directions

The Godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children after them. Proverbs 20:7

Anything that mentions "blessed" and "children" in it immediately catches my attention.  That's what I want the most for my sons - that they would love God and receive His blessings in their lives.  So I thought this morning "I'm a person of integrity - I don't lie or cheat or steal.  Yay!  I've got this!"  All of those things are true, but am I walking with integrity?  What about the times when I give mixed directions to my children?  I tell them to be patient with others, but lose my patience with them?  I tell them to speak kindly to their friends, but I criticize other people.  I want to give them good, clear directions.  Directions like God led me to in Deuteronomy:

But if you will seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you will seek Him with all your heart and soul and life.  Deuteronomy 4:29

God has answered my confusion this morning with clarity - if I seek Him, I will find Him.  That is the kind of direction I want to give to my children.  Thank you, Father, for showing me the way.

Minestrone Soup

I made this last night for dinner, and it was great!  DS1 ate about 2 big bowlfuls! 

Crockpot Minestrone Soup

• 1/2 small onion, chopped
• 3 large carrots, peeled and thinly sliced
• 1 medium zucchini, sliced 1/4" to 1/2" thick rounds
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 15 oz cans kidney beans, drained
• 6 cups beef broth
• 1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes
• 1 t dried basil leaves
• ½ t. dried oregano leaves
• ½ t. salt
• ¼ t. pepper
• 2 cups cooked small pasta
• ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese

Combine all ingredients except for the pasta and Parmesan cheese in your crockpot. Cover cook on Low 8 to 9 hours or on High 4 to 5 hours. Stir in macaroni. Serve sprinkled with cheese. I substitute 1-1/2 t. Italian seasoning for the basil and oregano.  I used mini farfalle pasta, and it made it a very hearty soup - if you like, you could use mini shells to have a less pasta-filled dish.


NOTE:  This makes a TON of soup!  I could easily have made half of this recipe and it still would have been enough to feed all 4 of us, plus leftovers!  I have two big tupperware dishes full of soup in the fridge now - I'll try to freeze one and will let you know how it re-heated later.

Integrity

As you may have noticed by my lack of posting - we have been totally swamped around here.  Dealing with the funeral, all the visiting friends and family, and just coming to terms with our loss.  We finally decided that for the past 2 or 3 days, we would just relax and have some fun.  We went out to a movie, took oldest DS to a swimming party, while DH and youngest DS went to the park.  We went shopping, got a new family game, and have just generally taken a break from life for a few days.  But last night, reality came screeching back into view.  There were bills I had to pay; the dishes needed to be done; my ancient laundry-nemesis, Mt. Wash-more, was resurrected; and various projects and activities were demanding my attention.  As I was going about taking care of all this, I realized that my attitude was decidedly rotten.  Honestly, how many shorts can 2 little boys go through in a week?  We had about 20 in there!  Was it so hard for them to rinse out their cereal bowls?  It is disrespectful of MY time to leave them sitting there.  I don't have time to do everything I need to do, and they're not helping!  I haven't even had my quiet time since Tuesday morning!  *Light bulb*  There it is.  In taking a break from 'life' I took a break from my relationship with God.  Never a good idea, as He pointed out in my renewed quiet time this morning:

Be happy and rejoice and be gladhearted continually; be unceasing in prayer; thank God for everything, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.  Do not quench the Holy Spirit.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.  Titus 2:9-10

I am a bondservant of Jesus Christ.  But I have not been obedient.  Actually, looking at that verse, for the past few days I haven't been an example of much that is found in that verse.  It is completely fine that I didn't do the dishes or the laundry for the last couple of days.  The problem is that I allowed MY choices to ignore my responsibilities impact MY attitude toward my family and my relationship with God.  But, one of the things I love about God is that He is always ready for you to try again.  So, my prayer today is:

Lord, I am sorry that I have strayed away from you this week.  I was trying to rely on myself, and not relying on You.  Please forgive me, and help me to turn to you immediately in all things.  Please help me to be obedient, gladhearted and well-pleasing in all things to bring glory to you.
Amen.

Can't Get Enough!!

I guess I just couldn't soak up enough of God's Word this morning!  After re-living all the stress of even just an hour ago, I'm so thankful that I turned to God for comfort.

Praise the Lord.  Praise the Lord, O my soul.  I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.  Psalm 146:1-2

I have been really struck about how suddenly our grandmother was gone.  The kids and I went over and spent time playing at her house two days before we got a phone call saying she had passed in her sleep.  At first, I was thinking "Wow - you really never know when it will be the last time that you see someone."  That's why I am so thankful for this verse this morning.  We don't know how long we have in this world, and I would like to be able to say that I praised the Lord for as long as I was alive.  What an amazing testimony.